The NFL football season offers viewers ample opportunity to sit around in their tightie-whities, and ponder, what am I going to eat? Since you are reading an article on, one can only assume you are single, lack cooking skills, and spend an unhealthy amount of time performing research for your fantasy team. This is your year! You and your first round man-crush will be triumphant, and I intend to make sure you have the proper nutrition to last the season.

Good luck lads!

The Man Recipe
Buy a package of chicken wings (cut into pieces if you like)
Buy a bottle of Franks RedHot Buffalo Wing Sauce
Buy Ranch or Blue Cheese Dressing

Play by Play
1. Get your lazy ass off the couch
2. Turn the oven on 500
3. Line a pan with foil (this step cuts down on clean up)
4. Rub some butter or oil all over the foil
5. Put chicken on pan. Bake for 25 minutes
6. Drown wings in wing sauce then bake for another 7 minutes
7. Enjoy

If you have blown all your money on league fees, here is a little help from Uncle Tom:
Frank's Red Hot Coupon

If by the grace of god you have managed to keep a lady friend, and she doesn't leave your sorry ass every Sunday, congratulations! She's a keeper. Perhaps she would like to be included in your Sunday ritual. In the spirit of family, I have included an additional recipe that will turn any ordinary Sunday into a Super Sunday.

Super Sunday Recipe
1/2 cup soy sauce
1/4 cup dry sherry
1/3 cup hoisin sauce
1/4 cup cider vinegar
6 scallions, chopped fine
2 cloves garlic, minced
1/2 cup honey
1/4 cup marmalade
1 teaspoon orange zest
1 teaspoon lemon zest
2 tablespoons minced green bell pepper
1/8 teaspoon Tabasco
4 pounds chicken wings, wing tips cut off and reserved for another use and the wings separated at the joint

Play By Play
1. Mix together soy sauce, Sherry, hoisin sauce, scallions, the garlic, vinegar, honey, marmalade, zests, bell pepper, and Tabasco in a bowl. Stir.
2. Add chicken to marinade, stir, and cover. Refrigerate 4 hours or overnight.
3. Preheat oven to 375.
4. Line pan with foil. Grease pan.
5. Place chicken on pan, reserving the marinade.
6. Bake for 20 minutes. Turn and brush with reserved marinade.
7. Repeat this two more times for a total cooking time of 1 hour.

Happy Painting and God Bless!